Anger Management

Hi every one hope all you people are fine....
was away for a while was relocating from Ranchi to Gurgaon,
Just very hectic schedule was unable to get to writing .....
well now I am settled and will be regularly writing new articles and sharing ideas....

While packing and shifting i just realized how easily we let anger control us and the anxiousness and stress of our daily lives with any major changes just makes us puppet in hands of this emotion which other wise is a normal, healthy,human emotion.Anger if not controlled and checked can be a very powerful and destructive and effect every aspect of our lives.

simple questions come to my mind....

 how do we handle anger or accept that we have an problem ?

In simple words if any small thing bothers you and makes you very volatile and irritated to an extend to hamper your normal functioning then for sure you have a problem. To handle anger you need to practices to control, convert and redirect your energy otherwise things go out of control and damage is done before you realize.

Anger is not only being aggressive, loud and dramatic but sometimes it is also at times reflected in a manner where we express it by being irritated,grumpy & sulking. at times anger is also manifested by socially withdrawing oneself and by physical illness this happens when we control or suppress our anger for a long time without expressing it. irony of the situation is that from childhood we our taught to express different feelings and emotions but anger is one emotion which is always discouraged and suppressed as a result we really don't know how to handle this emotion.

It is important that we know how to express anger and understand the triggers which warn us about our problem,this has to be taught as child only then will we as adults be able to positively,openly and honestly handle the anger....

Anger management will start once we know what triggers us.

What are these triggers

Triggers are generally verbal or non verbal behavior which act as an indicator to let you know things are going to get worst. these anger triggers are different for every body depending on various factors like age, gender& culture.

Women get angry about personal things related to relationships and feelings while men get angry about practical and everyday things. that's why you will be angry on why does he not listen but he will get angry when he misses his match.

Few triggers and signs you can be careful of to help you understand your anger:

Pay attention to the way anger feels in your body

• Knots in your stomach
• Clenching your hands or jaw
• Feeling clammy or flushed
• Breathing faster
• Headaches

• Pacing or needing to walk around
• “Seeing red”
• Having trouble concentrating
• Pounding heart
• Tensing your shoulders

Identify the negative thought patterns that trigger your temper

You may think that external things—the insensitive actions of other people, for example, or frustrating situations—are what cause your anger. But anger problems have less to do with what happens to you than how you interpret and think about what happened. Common negative thinking patterns that trigger and fuel anger include:

• Overgeneralizing. For example, “You always interrupt me. You NEVER consider my needs. EVERYONE disrespects me. I NEVER get the credit I deserve.”
• Obsessing on “shoulds” and “musts.” Having a rigid view of the way things should or must be and getting angry when reality doesn’t line up with this vision.
• Mind reading and jumping to conclusions. Assuming you “know” what someone else is thinking or feeling—that he or she intentionally upset you, ignored your wishes, or disrespected you.
• Collecting straws. Looking for things to get upset about, usually while overlooking or blowing past anything positive. Letting these small irritations build and build until you reach the “final straw” and explode, often over something relatively minor.
• Blaming. When anything bad happens or something goes wrong, it’s always someone else’s fault. You blame others for the things that happen to you rather than taking responsibility for your own life.

Source: www.helpguide.org

It is important we understand that these triggers along with the situation and the intent create our reaction so if we can control and understand the triggers we can change our reaction to it and manage our response and finally control our anger.

Anger management techniques

Every day practices and little change in your life can help you overcome the ill effects of anger and bring back the missing harmony in your life.these are not new things that we don't know but it is just that we ignore and forget them. following are few simple techniques which can help you check your anger.

• Relaxation and simple breathing when you feel you are loosing it can help you calm.slowly breath in and out. slow counting till ten also helps.
• Avoid stressful situations,people and places that triggers the anger in you.
• Always analyze how will you feel once the situation is over and try to find out what are you really angry about.
• At times it is best to forget and forgive that way you let go of the past,hurt and anger in you.
• prioritize this will help you manage your time and energy in an positive manner.
• At times it is also good to walk away its not like you are running away its just that at that point you distance your self from the situation and latter you can address it hen you are calm.
• eat healthy diet and exercise regularly.
• Some times just laughing it out can help
• talking to a trusted friend ,family or an expert can help you see things in different light.

Small steps in right direction can help you and those who love you. 

don't feel shy its OK to be angry and even OK to know how to control it....

Don't look at the cloud instead look at the silver lining and you will miss the cloud...

Till next time....

keep smiling....