Ek chidiya

ONE STEP AT A TIME

Handling depression it self at times be quite depressing and demotivating but its not impossible.Road to recovery is difficult but not impossible,all you need to do is start one step at a time and then take the leap. Initially it will be difficult but little control and taking action will take you long way and change the way you perceive and think.

One step at a time means taking small initiatives and building on them encourage yourself by celebrating every hurdle you cross whether its calling a friend, cooking your favorite meal or watching a movie.the effort and energy you initiate more strong and stable will your recovery be.

Isolation, loneliness makes things worse and it is difficult to break this cycle but you need to take that first step,that is talk to some one it can be old friend, family, support group don't feel shy because remember first step in recovery is supportive relationships which can help you. do not feel ashamed or anxious reach out and trust your loved ones.once you have reached out for help now the second step is to focus on yourself.

To overcome depression it is very important that you take care of yourself and follow a healthy routine and have proper diet and look into personal hygiene. you should aim to get 8 hours of sleep, every day come out and enjoy fresh air avoid being in the room all the time.Slowly start doing what you like and pursue a hobby.watch movies ,read listen to music and be at peace with yourself and best way to do this is by maintaining a daily dairy.

while handling depression it is important you challenge the negative thinking and try focusing on positive aspect. wanted to share few typical negative thinking which hamper recovery. these thoughts can be challenged just by agreeing to look at the bright side.

Source: http://www.helpguide.org/mental/depression_tips.htm

Authors: Melinda Smith, M.A., Robert Segal, M.A., and Jeanne Segal, Ph.D. Last updated: July 2012.

Ways to challenge negative thinking:

§  Think outside yourself. Ask yourself if you’d say what you’re thinking about yourself to someone else. If not, stop being so hard on yourself. Think about less harsh statements that offer more realistic descriptions.

§  Allow yourself to be less than perfect. Many depressed people are perfectionists, holding themselves to impossibly high standards and then beating themselves up when they fail to meet them. Battle this source of self-imposed stress by challenging your negative ways of thinking

§  Socialize with positive people. Notice how people who always look on the bright side deal with challenges, even minor ones, like not being able to find a parking space. Then consider how you would react in the same situation. Even if you have to pretend, try to adopt their optimism and persistence in the face of difficulty.

§  Keep a “negative thought log." Whenever you experience a negative thought, jot down the thought and what triggered it in a notebook. Review your log when you’re in a good mood. Consider if the negativity was truly warranted. Ask yourself if there’s another way to view the situation. For example, let’s say your boyfriend was short with you and you automatically assumed that the relationship was in trouble. But maybe he’s just having a bad day.

Types of negative thinking that add to depression
All-or-nothing thinking - Looking at things in black-or-white categories, with no middle ground (“If I fall short of perfection, I’m a total failure.”)
Overgeneralization - Generalizing from a single negative experience, expecting it to hold true forever (“I can’t do anything right.”)
The mental filter - Ignoring positive events and focusing on the negative. Noticing the one thing that went wrong, rather than all the things that went right.
Diminishing the positive - Coming up with reasons why positive events don’t count (“She said she had a good time on our date, but I think she was just being nice.”)
Jumping to conclusions - Making negative interpretations without actual evidence. You act like a mind reader (“He must think I’m pathetic.”) or a fortune teller (“I’ll be stuck in this dead end job forever.”)
Emotional reasoning - Believing that the way you feel reflects reality (“I feel like such a loser. I really am no good!”)
'Shoulds’ and ‘should-nots’- Holding yourself to a strict list of what you should and shouldn’t do, and beating yourself up if you don’t live up to your rules.
Labeling - Labeling yourself based on mistakes and perceived shortcomings (“I’m a failure; an idiot; a loser.”)

If you find your depression getting worse and worse seek professional help,  Needing additional help doesn’t mean you’re weak. Sometimes the negative thinking in depression can make you feel like you’re a lost cause, but depression can be treated and you can feel better!

Don’t forget about these self-help tips, though. Even if you’re receiving professional help, these tips can be part of your treatment plan, speeding your recovery and preventing depression from returning.

Hope this  helps and do not hesitate to seek help because its better to reach out then suffer in silence. Depression is curable and you can overcome it by little efforts and will power.

Till next time...

cheers....

Know More About Depression....

Hi friends.....

hope you guys are having gr8 weekend....

A very important issue plaguing our today's fast paced and high tech generation is killing,something we are not very comfortable talking about it but its effecting more and more people and creating havoc in their lives, so thought why not share some  info on the topic.

At least this way you will be aware and hopefully help some one who is suffering.

The topic for discussion as topic suggest is "Depression".

Do you have depression?

Most of us feel sad, lonely, or depressed at times. And feeling depressed is a normal reaction to loss, life's struggles, or an injured self-esteem.But when these feelings become overwhelming and last for long periods of time, they can keep you from leading a normal, active life. That's the time to seek medical help.

If left untreated, symptoms of clinical or major depression may worsen and last for years. They can cause untold suffering and possibly lead to suicide. 

Recognizing the symptoms of depression is often the biggest hurdle to the diagnosis and treatment of clinical or major depression. Lookout for warning sign and following symptoms.

 Symptoms of Depression
·         Difficulty concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions
·         Fatigue and decreased energy
·         Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, and/or helplessness
·         Feelings of hopelessness and/or pessimism
·         Insomnia, early-morning wakefulness, or excessive sleeping
·         Irritability, restlessness
·         Loss of interest in activities or hobbies once pleasurable, including sex
·         Overeating or appetite loss
·         Persistent aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems 
·         Persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" feelings
·         Thoughts of suicide, suicide attempts

 Depression carries a high risk of suicide. Anybody who expresses suicidal thoughts or intentions should be taken very, very seriously.

Warning signs of suicide with depression include:

·         A sudden switch from being very sad to being very calm or appearing to be happy
·         Always talking or thinking about death
·         Clinical depression (deep sadness, loss of interest, trouble sleeping and eating) that gets worse
·         Losing interest in things one used to care about
·         Making comments about being hopeless, helpless, or worthless
·         Saying things like "It would be better if I wasn't here" or "No one want me"

Remember, if you or someone you know is demonstrating any of the above warning signs of suicide with depression & needs help do not hesitate and take that step to help you might just save someones life....

Reach out to someone who needs help .....

Till next time, when we talk about how to handle depression....

cheers.....

Effective Teaching.....Shaping Minds

We just celebrated teacher's day and remembered our teachers with love & respect.
how true it is ......Our personalities have been shaped by our teachers and our working style ,attitude and professionalism is same as our teachers teaching style.

that is why student teacher accountability is very important.....

thought would like to share few points for all the teachers who are shaping personalities...

CLASSROOM MANAGEMENT

Why is great classroom management important?

1. Invites students to learn
2.  Increases positive student behavior
3. Prepares students to survive and thrive in society

Invite students to learn with

l  inviting and sincere verbal comments

Ø  “I appreciate your help.”

Ø  “How can I help you?”

l  inviting personal behaviors

Ø  smiling and listening

Ø  thumbs up or high five

l  an inviting physical environment

Ø  live plants

Ø  nicely decorated walls

l  inviting thoughts (self-talk)

Ø  “Making mistakes is OK.”

Ø  “I am a patient person.”

Increase positive student  behavior by…

Ø  Addressing students by name.

Ø  Saying “please” and “thank you.”

Ø  Having a controlled, disarming smile.

Ø  Being lovable and capable and showing empathy when necessary.

How teachers help prepare students to survive and thrive in the kind of society in which they will live.

l  Responsibility:   Democracy demands that its members make decisions and accept responsibility for the consequences of those decisions.

l  Cooperation: In a democracy, the student who can cooperate with others in any enterprise is far more likely to survive and thrive.

l  Courage :A student’s courage enables him to try, fail and try again, until he masters the challenges life poses.

l  Self-esteem:A student with high self-esteem sees herself as a capable human being who has a good opportunity to succeed at challenges.                            

Teaching Style

Authoritarian: Results in an Atmosphere of competition, fear, and anxiety, Environment of rigid order and routine. Teacher gives vigorous discipline, expects swift obedience, discourages verbal exchange, gives few praises, tells students what to think, lectures while students listen

Permissive :  Results in an Atmosphere of insecurity. Environment of chaos with little respect for order and routine. Teacher is apathetic, not very involved, and places few demands; does the thinking/problem solving for students; plans lessons involving lecture, films, and bookwork.

Democratic: Results in an Atmosphere of acceptance and high expectation. Environment of order and routine; flexible and conducive to creative, constructive, and responsible activity. Teacher places limits while encouraging independence, is polite but firm, and nurturing; is open to verbal interaction; gives praise and encouragement; guides rather than leads.

EFFECT & OUTCOME OF TEACHING STYLE

Authoritarian outcomes: Students Are given few opportunities for achievement, motivation, self-control, and discipline,  Spirits are broken, Feel powerless and may rebel and disrupt class or comply and become a pleaser, Have little opportunity to enhance motivation, personal goals, or communication skills

Permissive outcomes: Students are less likely to become socially competent; be motivated to achieve, and gain self control, Have not been taught to cooperate or contribute in constructive ways.

Democratic outcomes: Students Own and solve their problems,  Learn self-reliance and socially competent behavior, Are more likely to achieve and be motivated,  Learn from their mistakes

Relationships

hi guys......
hows weekend going....
well  just been caught up in some work...

its strange how we at times take our relationships for granted and hurt people who  are our world and try to please people who would not matter.I guess that's the irony of our lives. well hoping to change that would like to share few thoughts on how to create that harmony,love,affection and trust.

first things first always remember there is no other way than to talk things out.it is always difficult to talk but if you listen carefully you will know how to talk.other person will never know if you don't say what you feel no one is genius,say what you feel and ask what you want to know..then you will see the world from their point of view and things will be much easier.

We love complicating things because simplicity scare s us and at times we don't know how to handle simple things and we believe in divine conspiracies as a result we carry baggage of past with us. We let our past decide our present.Its important that we understand something that is few seconds old also is past so let past rest and move on. its important to let go and not judge things with those shades.we create unwanted tangles and barriers around us. Let go and you will see the difference to do that self talk your self and say I forgive you for what happened and move on....

Often we have preconceived thoughts and notions about what relationships are and what they should be.Its natural we are in the industrial and material world notions and ideas are sold to us by all. but you need to be true to yourself and your partner to understand what effects you and implies to you.being open in relation does not only mean saying what you want to our sharing secrets of past but it actually is to know what you bring to relationship and how open are u to discuss that....

Resentment is something that leads to poisoning of relationship because it creates anger,hate, mistrust and most of all loss of respect towards other person. It not only breaks any option of communication but brings back old hurt and unmet expectations which triggers  pain. it is important we realize two is for tango and not hold resentment specially unspoken and unexplained do not self victimize your self. instead show courage to accept responsibility for what is happening  and initiate forgiveness and healing.

Relationship will grow into mutual respect, trust and love and will over come most devastating situations if we believe in self development,forgiveness and take courage to accept responsibility; we will be able to create more mature and meaningful relationship.

Invest in your relationships they will help you overcome toughest times of life....

well till next time...

cheers

Learning Disability

Read this article and wanted to share with you all

hope it helps...

cheers till next time.....

disabilities look very different from one child to another. One child may struggle with reading and spelling, while another loves books but can’t understand math. Still another child may have difficulty understanding what others are saying or communicating out loud. The problems are very different, but they are all learning disorders.

It’s not always easy to identify learning disabilities. Because of the wide variations, there is no single symptom or profile that you can look to as proof of a problem. However, some warning signs are more common than others at different ages. If you’re aware of what they are, you’ll be able to catch a learning disorder early and quickly take steps to get your child help.

The following checklist lists some common red flags for learning disorders. Remember that children who don’t have learning disabilities may still experience some of these difficulties at various times. The time for concern is when there is a consistent unevenness in your child’s ability to master certain skills.

Preschool signs and symptoms of learning disabilities

§  Problems pronouncing words

§  Trouble finding the right word

§  Difficulty rhyming

§  Trouble learning the alphabet, numbers, colors, shapes, days of the week

§  Difficulty following directions or learning routines

§  Difficulty controlling crayons, pencils, and scissors or coloring within the lines

§  Trouble with buttons, zippers, snaps, learning to tie shoes

Grades K-4 signs and symptoms of learning disabilities

§  Trouble learning the connection between letters and sounds

§  Unable to blend sounds to make words

§  Confuses basic words when reading

§  Consistently misspells words and makes frequent reading errors

§  Trouble learning basic math concepts

§  Difficulty telling time and remembering sequences

§  Slow to learn new skills

Grades 5-8 signs and symptoms of learning disabilities

§  Difficulty with reading comprehension or math skills

§  Trouble with open-ended test questions and word problems

§  Dislikes reading and writing; avoids reading aloud

§  Spells the same word differently in a single document

§  Poor organizational skills (bedroom, homework, desk is messy and disorganized)

§  Trouble following classroom discussions and expressing thoughts aloud

Poor handwriting

It can be tough to face the possibility that your child has a learning disorder. No parents want to see their children suffer. You may wonder what it could mean for your child’s future, or worry about how your kid will make it through school. Perhaps you’re concerned that by calling attention to your child's learning problems he or she might be labeled "slow" or assigned to a less challenging class.

But the important thing to remember is that most kids with learning disabilities are just as smart as everyone else. They just need to be taught in ways that are tailored to their unique learning styles. By learning more about learning disabilities in general, and your child’s learning difficulties in particular, you can help pave the way for success at school and beyond.

A Parent's Love ....to all of us who are just too busy

RESPECT YOUR CHILD

Most of the parents complain that the child does not listen and does what is not to be done.

 Why this disobedience? Is what parents want to know?

Answer is right in front of you; all you need to do is look at it.

Most of us adopt parenting style our parents used, what our friends share and today as more aware parents what we read. But the truth is to make your child understand and listen to what you have say is to listen to him and understand the child’s view.

Child’s view? Now what’s that?

His world, perspective, his thoughts and his sphere of thinking …..In short his World

Yes, once you enter his world you will know what he wants and how to talk to him to make him know your world.

Most of us are aware about these things….all we need to do is improvise

So let’s start talking to our children so that they listen…. Always remember the trick is to keep things as simple as you can and be brief there is no need to ramble and talk too much to confuse self and the child. As far as possible use single sentences and easy words so that children can remember and follow what you are trying to say.

It’s very important to observe how kids communicate between themselves and you will automatically see the loopholes and where you are missing things. It’s important to connect with the child so that they understand what you want to say. Best way to connect is make eye contact with the child, address the child directly and create an open path by the way of your body language.

How do we create open communication?  What is open communication? Parents are often very perplexed about this.

Well open communication means giving your child authority to speak their mind and not be held for what they say. That does not mean they can say anything….this implies giving them opportunity to learn responsible communication.

To make this effective you need to create emotional equilibrium so that you and your child are on the same space. Let the child know it’s ok to be upset and disturbed but what is important is how you say it. You need to be a patient listener let your child complete his thoughts because if you become adult at this point you are creating that barrier and then you need to deal with the tantrum because child will ultimately say what he wants to, you need to decide how….

Little bit of listening, little bit of care and lots of understanding will help you understand your child better and communicate with them…..well there is no written rules of parenting it’s ok to be wrong and accept it…. that teaches the child to be real because ultimately he needs to learn to be real in this world.

 So start listening and happy parenting…..

Till next time cheers :)

empoweringthogether

Hi Guys

Tehzeeb and empowering together is a forum for all to discuss , learn and empower ourselves.
This is an initiative to handle every day life and create support system to help us deal with it, would like all you guys to contribute..

feel free to post ur queries,questions ,thoughts and views, participate in the polls and bring about change.

will try my best to keep things updated..... add new topics every time.

initially thinking of focusing on :

• parenting
• child rights
• behavior issues among children
• counselling
• career guidance 
• marital discord
• time managmnt
• stress managmnt
• addiction counselling
• relationships

well any thing else you guys would  like to add, feel free to

looking forward to ur support and contributions

together we can and we will.....

cheers